Perched, viewing
Contemplating both sides
Insanity or creativity
Indecision
Viewing the perks of both
Weighing the options carefully
I don’t understand
How I can feel such love
And such loss
Why do I feel this way?
Useless
What is wrong with me
My family decided
I’m nothing of worth
What does that say
Useless
My defining word
My own mother
My own father
Decided on my label
Useless
The love is gone
As is my worth
I am now junk
To be thrown out
Useless
I am like a sinking ship
Everyone flees seeking safety
All I can do is watch
As I make my decent
Useless
Over and over and over
That word is used
So it must be true
That I am
Useless
The blood that flows
Takes the emotion
Away from me
Making me safe
For all those around
Me in this room
They don’t know
The shadows that posses
The evils in my head
My dual personality
That devil inside
Cracks are showing
In my facade
I cant keep this up
Not anymore
I just want to let loose
With that blade in my pocket
That bloody blade.
Who am I?
What am I?
Where am I?
Oh! That’s right
I am myself, no one else
Human
Male, tall
In the dark
unafraid, silent
What does that mean?
What is human?
Why?
Unique, individual
Dreams
Emotions, intuition
Thoughts
Safe, Familiar
Love
What Dreams?
Thoughts?
Love?
Growing
Understanding
How?
Worries
Only one
Why?
Because this is me
understandable
to all but everyone.
It feels so empty
Here in the abyss
I see my soul again
Just there, drifting
Waiting
For me to claim it again
But I wont, not yet
I am not worthy
Not worthy of my soul
My body is too polluted
With the sin of my life
The blood on my hands
The fire in my head
All of these transgressions
Cant fill the gap
That endless fissure
Which opened up
So many years ago
When I lost my soul.
It was sent ahead of me
To pull me like a caught fish
Unable to break free
And is pulled in with glee
I am drawn to the hell
Which my soul was left
I have searched for it
And now that my quest is done
I realize that I am not ready
To Love
To care for
To have
To be useful
One day I will be, but not today
The road ahead is long
Yet, I look forward to the journey
For the time it takes isn’t important
It is rather the how you got there
And what you learned on the way
That transforms the mind
And enriches the soul.
Just to make it stop
The pain I have
The tears running down my face
It hurts so bad
To have the one you love say something like that
I cant feel anything else
Not even the cuts on my shoulder
They are just there
Oozing blood
Releasing me from my sadness
A cure for the disease
The deseas of my mind
I am like a cardnal all covered in red with a black shirt on
Looking in at the world
With it boundries
And I wish to surpass
Surpass thoes boundries
I don’t want to be here
But with my sopuld in the afterlife
Just floating screamin and writhing
I cant help it
I just want to die
Die in shame and disgrace
The tears wont stop
As I think of what is happening
Will I live
Well I don’t know
But right now I sure hope I die.
Pain
Like a Fever
Hot, and cold
Both are mixed
Creating eruptions
In the mind
Bound by my
Self wish
To not spill
I cant hurt
I’m all numb
Screaming
Alone
I want to smile
But I cant
Not now
Not truly
Nor will I ever
While the pain
Resides in me
I sit in Silence
Like usual
Nothing ever changes
An I am back to basics
I don’t know what to do
Ask for help
I am sure no one can
Help dispel the silence
That has come to rest
Over my heart
That silence, deadly
Kill the soul.
Infests the body
Festers in the mind
Creating discord
Within the mind
Making the last days nice
As hell ascends
To meet the silent person
Screaming in their mind
Wanting an out
A safe haven
No one can know
No one can see
The mark of the dishonored
Upper right arm
A brand for the sad
A line and dot to mark
the infection of the mind
Deep within
This is the first of signs
Many more may come
With the degradation of life
Then death
Malicious thought
And hatred boil up
Springing forth upon
My mind
My calling card
A unbridled scream
Tears
Shaking bodies
Five pops, Six drop
I see it in my mind
All the violence
Enticing me
I fear myself
The things I will do
My deepest thoughts
My pain
She caused so much of it
And now she told me
Its done
So I will go on
Unto insanity
With a smile,
And a Tear
Frozen
I landed
I said “I love you”
And her response was “I know”
But what did it matter
What did it count for
Hard
She knew, yah she did
Then she said, I like him
She wanted to date
She didn’t want to hurt
Broken
Upon the plane of insanity
Losing myself, my mind
Not sure where to go
Cant rant. Cant rave
Twisted
Into something that I hate
Reverting to my old self
Full of loathing
For all that is good
Hatred
A wave that passes over
Mistaken for warmth
Is instead wrath
Stone cold, anger
Rivulets
Of tears, red tears
Cover my body
Wrecking my dreams
Leaving ruin
Mess
Oops! I left a mess
Too bad, I don’t really care
doesn’t matter the physical pain
Animated by hatred
Death
The cheap way out
My penance will be life
My hell is here
In my own sinful mind, caged.
Alone
Page 1 of 4
